Monday, March 8, 2010
Lusting For Freedom
I was astounded in reading Rebecca Walker's essay to find out the first time she had sex was at age eleven. Taking that into context, I was impressed with the maturity to which Walker approached sex during young adulthood. I believe she provided a unique perspective of someone who engaged in sex since a young age and with multiple partners, but feels she has learned from her experiences rather than faced unfortunate consequences. The main reason people do not usually have such experiences line up with a positive perception of sex as healthy is because of STD's, unwanted pregnancies, rape, and heartbreak. Walker claims to have avoided these occurrences, thus leading to her positive outlook. While this is obviously a fortunate avoidance for Walker, it leads her to disregard such concerns entirely. Walker quickly mentions the possibilities of such disasters but mostly criticizes society for making sex a shameful act and condemning young girls as "sluts." Our society has progressed tremendously in discussing sex openly; dating from the days of "I Love Lucy" when a married couple did not sleep in the same bed, to current raunch culture such as "Sex in the City" re-runs being played on TBS. Despite this progression, I do agree with Walker that social customs limits the sexual freedom of young adults but this is due to the unwanted pregnancies, STD's and rape that Walker quickly glances over. She tries to advocate for a change in society's constrictions but does not offer a solution to these problems which force such restrictions. Walker attempts to present sexual experiences at a young age as a positive attempt to learn one's body but she does not fully address the possible consequences that prevents most young people from doing so.
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I had both positive and negative responses to this reading. On one hand I agree with her analysis of the effects of shame on women’s and men’s sexuality. By telling ourselves that our natural desires are in some was tainted or wrong, we create anxiety and shame in acts which should bring only pleasure. Furthermore, our obsession with sex, in conjunction with our moralistic belief patters which label sex as wrong or bad, leads to the inescapable trap facing sexually active women in which they are labeled as sluts, bitches, or dykes. By relaxing our attitudes towards sex, and making less judgments about others based on their sexual orientation and proclivities, we may not only overcome these stereotypes but focus on more important aspects of our lives. Thus I agree with her analysis of the social implications of our beliefs about sex.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I reacted very negatively to one section in which she said “Like all woman all over the world, I had mastered the art of transforming myself into whatever I thought each man would fall in love with”. She explains how she would change herself to fit whatever each man wanted. First, while she claimed this empowered her, it struck me that she advocated superficial and constructed relationships. This is not empowerment, only an insatiable drive to control men. I personally believe that everyone should just act naturally and in accordance with their own personality and should not change who they are for anyone. While she attributed her behavior to being free, if a man were to say the same thing he would be characterized as the worst kind of womanizer with a duplicitous character. Thus while I agreed with what she said about sex and sexuality, I do not think she is any kind of model for how people should treat each other.